He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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