How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
