I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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