Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
