My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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