Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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