a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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