Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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