can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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