Just cropdusted the office
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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