I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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