Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
