did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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