im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm like, not good at living.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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