So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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