I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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