there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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