Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize