Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The ass gains better be worth it
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