I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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