I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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