I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize