I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
