Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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