doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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