How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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