He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
