Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
