Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
