I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
