I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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