I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
