I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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