You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
