mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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