so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
