this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
