As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
