I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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