i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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