so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
