is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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