I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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