So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
