i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
