Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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