hotel room ftw
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
