dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
