so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
