I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
