South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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