A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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