she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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