...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
