He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
