he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
