i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
