I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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