i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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