Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
