Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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