So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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