The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
