we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
